


These Thoughts

by DarkestInfatuations



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Death, Gore, Insanity, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Murder, Pseudo-Incest, Unrequited Love, Violence, dark!fic, it's dark, seriously, sweet little mikey loses his shit, tcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:42:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkestInfatuations/pseuds/DarkestInfatuations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The voices say things, and Mikey just can't stand to hear "no" one more time...</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Done for Boxed-Naga's "Kill Everybody" contest over on Deviant Art. http://boxednaga.deviantart.com/art/Kill-Everybody-288287741

  
These thoughts suffocate me.  
  
They scream inside my head, and it hurts, Leo, _it **hurts**_. But not as bad as my heart. You made sure of that. You _all_ made sure of that.  
  
I kept hoping one day, they would get so loud I wouldn't hear them anymore. That they wouldn't say these things, that they wouldn't give me these images, these sick desires. I tried to tell you, but you just ignored me.  
  
 _'Push them down the stairs,'_ they whispered.  
  
 _'Choke them,'_ they said.   
  
_'Hurt them,'_ they growled.  
  
 _'Make them suffer,'_ they screamed.  
  
I keep shaking my head, trying to get them to go away. All I wanted to do was sleep, just get away from these voices, these awful feelings. For some reason, I thought of the knife.  
  
The knife _**he**_ gave me.  
  
Before I could even register the pure hate of just thinking about him kissing you one more time, sticking his tongue in your mouth, I was standing in front of my dresser holding it. The jagged blade was shining gloriously in the dim red light, like blood had spilt all over the beautiful silver edges. My skin broke out in goosebumps, chills travelling up my spine as I gasped for air.  
  
 _'Kill everybody'_ , they say.  
  
Everyone's been saying no lately. _"No Mikey, I don't love you,"_ and _"No Mikey, you can never have him,"_ and _"No Mikey, I'm not leaving him,"_. I'm tired of no.  
  
So I say yes.  
  
The trip down to Donnies' room doesn't take long at all, and I could hear him inside, mumbling to himself. I opened the door, swinging it open slowly, gazing at his turned shell, my vision nearly gray.  
  
"It's rude not to knock, Mikey." He doesn't even turn to look at me.   
  
The fool.  
  
"I'm sorry." I try to say it sweetly, but it just burns my mouth like venom. I'm not sorry. Before he can utter another reassurance, another sugar coated lie, the knife is at his throat.   
  
And neither are you.  
  
It slices through his neck so very easily, and I can see the blood spewing everywhere, feel it running all over my arms. His body kicks out, he grasps his slit throat, gargling unintelligible lies that he will never again utter. I watched him fall back, struggling in vain to breathe again. It will not be alright, you will not get over this.  
  
I just stare into his eyes.  
  
He tries to say something, his orbs pleading as he reaches out for me, the strangling sounds fading. When they were finally devoid of life, his arm falling, I felt part of my pain lift. The blood, it is everywhere… and red, I can finally see.  
  
 _ **Him.**_  
  
The voices scream so loud I can't see anymore, I can't see anything but the blood pouring out of _**him**_ , anything but _**him**_ taking his last breath.   
  
I turn, running as fast as my feet can carry me. I slow, approaching the weight room, hearing him inside. I step through the threshold, waiting. He doesn't even notice me, or doesn't care.  
  
The thought of watching him die is smothering me.  
  
"Mikey, M' not havin' this conversation again. I ain't leavin' Leo." His voice grates my ears worse than the voices, and I shiver again, my whole face twitching as my muscles quake. I walked further into the room, standing in front of him, blocking the light from his face, noticing his closed eyes. I looked at the depression between his first and second scutes. Few people know it, but they are soft, _weak_.  
  
"It's okay," I lifted my arm, pointing the blade.  
  
"You don't have to." His eyes flew open, just in time for me to sink the blade into his heart.  
  
His pupils constricted as a strangled, desperate cry came from his throat. He grabbed for the blade, staring at the blood pouring and squirting out of his plastron. I flung him from the bench, watching him convulse on the ground in pain.   
  
I fell to my knees, ripping the blade viciously from his chest. He took a few gasping breaths, trying to stop the blood.  
  
"Because soon, he won't belong to anybody." He took his last breath, the gold fading from his eyes, and the voices finally faded to a whisper. My anger, sorrow, rage, and hate were drained from my body, leaving me numb.  
  
For the first time in months, I could hear again. I could see again. And I knew why Leo chose him.  
  
The red was _beautiful_.  
  
Without hesitation, I ripped my mask off, flinging it away from me as hard as I could. It was so beautiful, and it would be _mine_. I would wear that daring, bold color. I would be his envy.  
  
My hands glided across his broken and pale plastron, leaving smudges in their wake. I brought them to my face, smearing it around my eyes. It smelled so good – did it taste good too? I couldn't help but lick the blade still clenched in my fist.  
  
 _ **Yes!**_  
  
Without thinking, I slit his throat too, cupping my hands to catch the minute amount of oozing ruby liquid that seeped out. I couldn't help but moan as I rubbed it around until red encircled my skull.  
  
I could hear my unrequited lover scream behind me, making my eyes open. I got to my feet slowly, looking down on Raphaels body. The white glow from the overhead lights was harsh on his emerald skin, making the blood spewed across him a bright red, his now honey colored eyes dull, still open in shock and pain. The blood had congealed on the concrete floor after seeping into all the little nooks and crannies.   
  
"You…" his breaths were erratic, coming in and out of his lungs so fast he was wheezing. I whirled, running up to him so fast we slammed against the wall. Suddenly the blade was up far enough in my grip so he could see it.  
  
"I'm wearing red now. Do you like it? Am I good enough now?" My eyes burned, I could feel tears washing away my new mask.  
  
"What? W-why, how could you? I loved them! I loved all of you!" he screamed.  
  
"I got rid of them, Leo. Don't you see? They kept saying no. All of you kept saying no," he just stared at the blade in horror as the blood continued to dribble down its length.  
  
"But the voices said kill everbody, I just wanted somebody to say yes," I smiled, bringing my other hand up to caress his face, smearing the red across his beak.  
  
"No," he whispered, as the tears overflowed.  
  
I stared into his eyes, my heart burning uncontrollably.  
  
How could he say it again?  
  
 _'Everyone,'_ they whisper. I gripped him tighter, reveling in what I knew.  
  
"So _I_ said _**yes**_."  
  
I stabbed him before he could say or do anything, severing his jugular. I pulled the blade out quickly, holding him as he crumpled to the floor. He gripped at me wildly, screaming out in agony.  
  
Before he could reach for it, I pulled it across my own throat, finishing my duty.  
  
It was _me_ he would spend his last moments with, _me_ he grabbed onto, _me_ he would scream for.  
  
And finally, these thoughts would end.


End file.
